Kickers BYEBYE v 2.0

Esteemed Colleagues,

It is high time that we move BAFFL into the 21^st century and finally do away with the fantasy fun-killing position of kickers. After a close vote, last year GMs foolishly decided to keep the beleaguered position on our rosters for another year. Perhaps the Commissioner was a little too confident that this change would pass, so he did not put the effort required to make a compelling enough case for this no-brainer change. I’m here to tell you: kickers need to go, and I have the stats to back it up.

Let’s take a look at how the experts fared at predicting this crapshoot of a position last year.

Player	Final Ranking	Preseason Ranking	Final Points
Daniel Carlson	1	13	174
Nick Folk	2	24	171
Justin Tucker	3	2	162
Chris Boswell	4	28	162
Matt Gay	5	7	159
Greg Joseph	6	19	156
Matt Prater	7	11	154
Evan Kickpherson	8	25	154
Jake Elliott	9	29	150
Dustin Hopkins	10	23	147

Just two players who were projected to be in the top 10 made it in the list. Not only that, half of the top 10 were predicted to be outside the top 20! Including the 28 and 29^th ranked kickers. Consensus pre-season #1 Harrison Butker on the cant-miss Chiefs offense finished 13^th with 140 points, a full 34 points behind Daniel Carlson at 140.

GM Shark, what’s the big deal you ask? 34 points over the course of a 15 week fantasy season only averages out to a little over 2 points per game? Consider this: Daniel Carlson (the best kicker last year) himself had many complete duds:

• Week 4: 2 points
• Week 5: 3 points
• Week 10: 2 points
• Week 14: 3 points

That’s right, in a playoff game (against the chiefs, surely to be a points bonanza right?) the best kicker in the league put up a 3 spot. Imagine how that would feel, knowing you somehow overcame the odds and selected a good kicker, only to have your championship hopes go up in smoke due to a fucking kicker.

Furthermore, it just generally sucks watching football and cheering for your kicker to get points. Imagine how sick in the head you need to be to cheer for an offense to move down the field, only to get stopped somewhere inside the 35yd line. Do you watch movies and walk out with 30 minutes left? Quit playing a video game right before the final boss? Stop playing sports with 10 minutes left in the game? Stop having sex before either of you finish? No, this is all clown shit, we cheer for fucking tuddies.

Not convinced yet? Here are some more stats for you:

And finally, we did a survey of literally every person on earth asking who their favourite player was, and the results are shown below grouped by position:

Not one single human on the face of the earth has ever said their favourite player is a fucking kicker.

Fellow Commissioners, this year join me in making BAFFL great again and once and for all abolishing this god forsaken position.