What a wild week of fantasy football we just witnessed. Proving why BAFFL is the greatest league in the world, the powerhouse undefeated savant Angry Birds went down to last week’s #14 Mystics. The Crickets are now 3-0 and a heavy favourite against the Hogz. Up is down, left is right, and I have no idea what to make of this season so far. With that said, let’s jump into the rankings!
14. Delamere Dawgpound 0-3 (-2)
After 3 weeks, the shine from last season’s championship is firmly in the rearview mirror, and the Dawgpound are in serious trouble. An 0-3 start it certainly not what fans had in mind in the Dawgpound’s quest to go back-to-back, and results aside the pound haven’t given their fans much to be excited about so far, topping out at 84 points in a week 1 loss. This past week was their worst game yet, with Jacobs, Adams, Waddle, and Aiyuk all turning in terrible performances. The Packers seem to have found a running back to complement Jacobs in Emmanuel Wilson, which means the days of 30+ touches are probably a thing of the past, and if the pound have any hope he’s going to need to be more efficient with less touches.
13. Aquarium Avenue Magikarps 1-2 (-3)
The first 3 weeks of the season could not possibly have gone worse for this squad, who had title aspirations going into the season. McCaffrey is in Germany trying to fix his achilles, McBride is going to miss some time with a concussion, and hasn’t been good when playing, Kupp is out, and Roddy White might have already lost his starting job to Bucky Irving. As this GM admitted in the BAFFL chat, this team might look sick and steamroll his opponents in the fish bowl, but it’s going to be incredibly difficult for him to get a sniff at the playoffs with the combination of injuries and draft busts.
12. Moustache Mystics 1-2 (+2)
After two weeks of DOOM, the Costco Boys Mystics finally got a BOOM game from the Bungals duo. Before fans get too excited and smash some double chocolate chunk cookies – it was against the Commanders. If they didn’t go off this week the panic button would have been completely smashed and the Mystics would be looking at a whole season of DOOM. Aaron Jones continues to look like a great pick for GM Noel, and Chubba Hubbard had a monster game, but aside from that there’s not a lot to get excited about. Sam LaPorta is firmly in bust territory as the Lions continue to run the ball a ton, Williams has taken targets from him, and now he’s got an injury to deal with as well. The Mystics will continue to surprise teams every once in awhile when Chase goes off, but unfortunately for their fans, they’re not going to BOOM often enough to get this team into the playoffs.
11. Voldemorts 1-2 (-5)
The Volds were flying high after week one and fooled us into thinking maybe this season would be different. They followed up their week one 140 pt bonanza with two miserable performances, and if Kamara comes back down to earth, this team is done for and a mortal lock for the fish bowl.
10. Hibiscus Battle Hogz 1-2 (-6)
Speaking of teams that got off to a hot start and have come back down to earth, the Hogz put up a stinker for a second week in a row. AJ Brown looks like he’s going to miss several weeks, and week one of the Tyreek Hill sans Tua experiment was not ideal. Week 1 FAAB acquisition Me Likely, Unlikely has combined for 4.2 points in the 2 weeks since (which, to be fair puts him firmly in start-able TE territory). On the positive side, he might have struck gold with free waiver wire pickup Emmanuel Wilson, but that’s not going to be enough to save this roster, who went zero RB but appear to have struck out on all 3 WRs.
9. Lords of the Valley 2-1 (+2)
The Valley Lords are 2-1 and boy did they let the BAFFL chat know about it. The chat is more fun when the Lords are relevant, but unfortunately for everyone that’s usually only for a few weeks of the season. Looking at the roster, this team is not built for a deep run. First round pick Travis Kelce has been a complete dud so far, and Kyren Williams has carried the team through 3 weeks. The ceiling for the Lords is competing for the final playoff spot, and likely falling short, ending up in the non playoff, non chomps bowl sweet spot.
8. Crotch Crickets 3-0 (+5)
We couldn’t in good conscience keep this team at the very bottom of the rankings after a 3-0 start and an impressive win over the BIG GUYs. We’re not ready to pronounce them a contender yet, but we’re warming to the idea that this could be a playoff team. They’re heavy favourites this week against the banged up hogz, and if they get off to a 4-0 start they likely only need to go 3-7 the rest of the way to make the dance. We definitely expect some regression from this squad – it seems unlikely Goedert will end up TE1, but they might have the horses to at least make their way into the playoffs.
7. Creek Crossing ZenSharks 2-1 (+2)
As expected, the Sharks have the best RB duo in the league and while they haven’t had a Kamara or Saquon type performance yet, Gibbs and Hall continue to deliver solid week to week performances. Braelon Allen was a sneaky good pickup as well, and in a pinch the Sharks could easily start both Jet running backs and still have a better RB room than half the league. After a tough week 1, first round pick Christian Olave is rounding into form and seems locked into the WR1 spot, but the WR2 and Flex spots on this team continue to be a concern. Jameson Williams had his first bust game, and Tank Dell and Christian Kirk had OK weeks, but unfortunately OK week has been their ceiling through 3 weeks. If the Sharks want to get serious about contending, they may have to look to the trade market to shore up these spots. Juaun Jennings could be the answer for a couple weeks, but when Deebo and Kittle come back, he is unlikely to have the monster weeks he did in week 3.
6. Crevasse Cheeks 1-2 (+1)
After a tough 0-2 start the Cheeks are on the board and back into the mix among the league’s elite squads. Josh Allen looks to be miles ahead of the next best QB, and Malik Nabers is unfortunately the real deal, having cooked our beloved Browns in an embarrassing performance for the D. Pollard and Stevenson had tough weeks, but we expect them to bounce back, and the Cheeks to be a top 4 team as season’s end.
5. Thresher Tornados 1-2 (-3)
Another tough loss puts the Tornados at 1-2 despite being 4th in the league in points for, 20 ahead of the first place crickets. Fans shouldn’t get too worked up though, this squad is solid top to bottom and their points against luck should even out over the course of the season. It’s only a matter of time before Bucky Irving takes the job from Rachaad White, and he’s not even really needed at the moment with a solid roster at every position. The biggest question mark for this team is at quarterback. I might be butchering this stat – but I am pretty sure in the last 20 starts for Patrick Mahomes he has only cracked the 20 point mark three times. While there is no doubt he is the best QB in the league in terms of actually playing football, maybe we put too much weight into that when evaluating his fantasy outlook, which for a season + has been mediocre at best.
4. BIG GUYs 2-1 (-1)
The stage was set for the BIG GUYs moment of glory, a 2-0 start to the season and an easy matchup against the Crickets to move to 3-0 and first place in BAFFL. Unfortunately for GM Pearno, the crickets had other ideas and he mysteriously continues to believe in Anthony Richardson. We love hate to say I told you so, but Anthony Richardson is not a good quarterback. Yes, he has highlight plays, is a freak athlete, and is capable of putting up 30+ points. Unfortunately for him and GM Pearno, consistency matters, and teams will adjust, taking away the deep ball and forcing Richardson to dink and dunk down the field, which he seems incapable of doing. If the BIG GUYs want to stay in the top half of the league, they might want to consider moving on to Brock Purdy sooner rather than later.
3. Pepsiland Pontooners 2-1 (+2)
Early in the season it seems as though last year’s performance was a blip in the radar of this storied franchise, and the team could once again be among the last teams standing in the 2024 season. Marvin Harrison backed up his performance last week with another solid outing, and Derrick Henry had a vintage performance putting up nearly 30 points. Brock Bowers is the only TE worth owning in the league, and Dak Prescott put up big numbers in a game in which he threw 51 passes.
2. Aconitum Wovles 2-1 (+6)
While the Hogz struck out on the zero RB strategy, the Wolves hit a grand slam. Despite having Gibbs, Montgomery is getting 20 touches a game and is an every week starter. Charbonnet had a monster game, and even when Kenny W comes back Ekeler seems to be a viable option with his check down volume. As expected, Amon-Ra has bounced back from his poor week one outing, and the Wolves put up 120 points in a CeeDee Lamb down week. Most importantly, Jayden Daniels had a monster week, not just from a fantasy perspective, but an all-time performance for a rookie QB on MNF. QB2 on the season is on the radar for this electric QB, and if anything close to that happens the Wolves could be a serious contender.
1. Naatur Triil Angers 2-1 (-)
The Angry Birbs have finally dropped a game – was this loss foreseen and all part of the plan? Or are the cracks starting to show in this juggernaut squad? Only GMGrove knows the answer, but judging by his Monday night meltdown he did not see this one coming. He still put up an impressive 98 point performance, and still has one of the top squads in the league. Roster decisions were the GM’s downfall this week – with 40+ points on the bench between Johnson and Cooper, who were sat in favour of the 6 points put up by Zay Flowers and James Conner. Another sign that perhaps the clairvoyant powers of this GM are starting to fade – perhaps GMGrove made a deal with the devil to start the season, but the devil is coming to collect his due.
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