14. Crotch Crickets – Projection 3-11
No surprises here at #14 – the Crickets have completely punted on the year and seem to have embraced becoming the likely home of Chomps Gregory the Goldfish Betta Fish. Traded away a top 3 WR, didn’t pick until the 5th round, and it shows looking at the roster. Third string RB in the starting lineup, Gabe Davis and Jerry Jeudy starting – this roster is a dumpster fire, and barring some savvy in-season pickups GM Harvey is a mortal lock to be one of the 4 fish bowl participants.
13. Voldemorts – Projection 4-10
Last place was easy – but starting with #13 it’s already tough to handicap and the league has been notoriously tight in recent years. So – nobody should get too worked up with these rankings, and they could be shaken up significantly once the lads take the field. With that said – there are some good reasons we have for putting the Voldemorts in this spot: Joe Mixon and Alvin Kamara are among the worst keepers in the league, so GM Adib was behind the 8-ball to start. While the rest of the league zigged away from RBs, the Voldemorts Zagged, going for their 3rd RB with the #2 overall pick – and no pick in the second round. He then went for QB early, and the result is a roster with a good QB, good (but not great) RBs, and a pretty lackluster team to round out the roster. If Jayden Reed takes a big step and becomes the #1 receiver in GB, and Keenan Allen continues to beat father time, the Voldemorts could find their way into contention.
12. Mystics – Projection 5-9
The Mystics have some heavy hitters on their roster, and week to week could upset teams on the back of the Burrow/Chase stack alone. The depth of the roster is why the Mystics find themselves near the bottom of the early rankings. Aaron Jones, Xavier Worthy, and Zamir White are big question marks in the starting lineup. If they all pan out, the Mystics could work their way into the upper echelons of the league, but more than likely the Mystics are going to need to go shopping for a replacement for 1 or 2 of these guys.
11. BIG GUYs – Projection 6-8
The BIG GUYs made a solid pick in round 1 to bolster their roster but starting in round 2 they were up to their old tricks reaching for their guys a little too early round after round. Like everyone else not named Harvey, there is a path for the BIG GUY to contend – but he needs a lot of things to come together and there’s not a lot of margin for error. Anthony Richardson needs to stay healthy, and Tyjae Spears needs to get the bulk of the work in a sub-par Tennessee offense.
10. Delamere Dawgpound – Projection 6-8
Here is where it gets even more difficult, and there is a group of teams from here to #3 where it wouldn’t surprise me if I had the order completely backwards – and a lot of it will depend on the moves these GMs make during the season. With that said, looking at the starting roster, two spots stand out as being particularly weak, and this is with a team who does not have one of the top 15 players going into the season. Winning a championship erases a lot of the problems with a team in the public eye, but we shouldn’t forget this team finished in the 8th spot, didn’t have great keepers, and drafted their first player at the 14 spot. The wildcard for the Dawpound is Kyle Pitts – if he can take a step and finally have the type of season everyone has expected, the Dawgpound could move up the rankings very quickly.
9. Valley Lords – Projection 6-8
Nick’s draft strategy (let somebody else pick for him) worked out perfectly and the Valley Lords have a decent, well-rounded roster to start the season. Kyren Williams could easily be a top 10 RB, and Travis Kelce should give the Lords a positional advantage at TE every week, even if the gap between Kelce and the rest of the league isn’t as wide as it once was. Mostert was a sneaky good pick that there is no way Nick would have made himself. The big question mark on the roster is Diggs: The Texans paid big money for Nico Collins making it seem like he will be the WR1, and Stroud is on record saying Tank Dell is one of the best wide receivers in the league. Diggs has a long history of pouting when he’s not fed the ball, and it would not surprise us if by week 5 he’s demanding a trade, and nobody wants to add him to their team since this would be the 3rd time he’s done this.
8. Hogz – Projection 7-7
The Hogz truly embraced the zero RB strat, and time will tell if the strategy paid off. Their 3 WRs are clearly 1a/1b in the league with the Wolves, however the problem I have with this roster is not only are their RBs a bit of a gamble (which is to be expected with this strategy) but they have a bottom tier TE and middle of the pack QB. With that said, first half Tua could lead the team to some victories early on, and Hunter Henry definitely has a 2TD game or two in him, but the team will likely need to find some better long-term answers in both spots or the second half could be rough.
7. Thresher Tornadoes 7-7
We love this team on paper, but if we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s don’t get too excited about this franchise, something is bound to go wrong. Mahomes is one of the top QB options, Etienne and Jefferson are solid keepers, and the roster is rounded out nicely for a 14-team league. The tornados even have some intriguing options on the bench (which is more than we can say for most teams) in JK Dobbins, and Rashid Shaheed who is always a good boom/bust play.
6. Aconitum Wolves 7-7
Like the Hogz, the Wolves came into the draft with two of the best WRs available, and decided to add to their already impressive WR room with Drake London. In our opinion, they have the slight edge over the Hogz receivers, but they have also rounded out their roster a bit better due to holding onto most of their draft picks. Kincaid has the potential to be the top option on the bills offense, Montgomery is a solid weekly start with upside, and both Warren and Charbonnet on the bench are an injury away from a much-needed replacement of Austin Ekeler on this roster. Jayden Daniels is a big question mark but he has league winning upside due to his rushing ability behind centre.
5. Pepsiland Pontooners 8-6
The Pontooners have a solid roster top to bottom and should be able to crawl out of the basement and back into the playoff mix. Dak Prescott is the quintessential QB pick that you’re never going to get too excited about, but he’ll almost certainly be in around the top 10 QBs. Henry and Pacheco should be one of the better RB rooms in the league, and Harrison Jr leads the way of a decent crop of WRs. Between Brock Bowers and Njoku, the Pontooners should be able to find one high quality TE to replace Kelce. This team doesn’t scream BAFFL champion, but we’d bet the house they evade the fish bowl in 2024.
4. Creek Crossing Sharks 9-5
The Sharks starting roster is up there with the top teams in the league, led by two of the top 5 projected RBs in BAFFL. Solid WRs, a top 5ish QB, and Mark Andrews at TE should strike fear into most teams in the league. What separates the Sharks from the top 3 teams is the lack of depth on the bench. Outside of Christian Watson, there’s not one player on the bench you’d be comfortable starting off the bat, particularly at running back. This team looks great to start, but they are a Gibbs or Hall injury away from taking a massive slide in the rankings.
3. AA Magikarps 9-5
The Karps are in a very similar spot as the Sharks – with a slight upgrade in the Bench that gives them the nod. Two great, pass-catching RB options, great WRs (you idiots let him take DK Metcalfe in the second round?!?), and a TE that gives him a weekly advantage over most teams every week. Rico Dowdle is essentially the difference maker between the Sharks and the Karps, as he is at least a playable option in the event of an injury, with some upside to work his way into the starting rotation.
2. Crevasse Cheeks 10-4
The Cheeks turned their plethora of picks into one of the best rosters in BAFFL to start the season. Top fantasy QB, top 3 RB option, Solid young WRs, and with Nick Chubb heading to the PUP Jerome Ford should be a great play at least until week 5. The bench spots are a clear differentiator over the Sharks and Karps – as any one of those guys are startable today and have the potential to blossom into great week to week fantasy options.
1. Naatur Triil Angers 11-3
“I cannot explain to you how much I saw everything coming” – GMGrove, August 24, 2024. The GM had the quote of the draft, and apparently had something like 180 of the top 200 picks exactly matched to each player. This GM used his savant powers and mittful of draft picks to build one of the strongest rosters to start the season. Rashee Rice was a steal of a draft pick and leads the way for a strong group of WRs to complement the great roster this GM has assembled. If Aiyuk ends up getting traded, Kittle could see a bump in consistency, but even if he stays put, Kittle still has boom weekly upside, and the rest of the roster should be solid enough to carry his sub-par performances. This GM has seen the future, and he sees himself dominating the regular season, and sleepwalking his way into the championship game. What could possibly go wrong?
BAFFL 