Welp, the symmetry in the standings has come to an end, with the top two teams at 6-1 and a whole pile of scrubs teams sitting at 2-5. It was a low scoring week with only 3 teams cresting the 100 point mark, and two of those only just barely. We have also officially reached the halfway point of the regular season, and with 7 games to go there is still a lot to be decided.
#1 – Aquarium Avenue Magikarps 6-1 (-)
The karps continue to roll with their 5th win in a row over the Tornados, but the club has had a few shaky performances in a row that leave a bit of room for concern. Austin Ekeler continues to struggle returning from injury, Cooper Kupp had a down week and was overshadowed by Puka Nacua, and Tyler Lockett continues to be barely playable. On the bright side, he still has McCaffrey, and GM Dufresne is praying Daniel Jones never returns as Tyrod has been feeding Darren Waller ever since taking over. This team will look to build on their first half and make sure they are healthy and ready to roll for the BAFFL playoffs.
#2 – Creek Crossing ZenSharks 6-1 (-)
The Sharks appear to be reaching their final form, and the only cause for concern at this point is that perhaps the team is peaking too early? Jahmyr Gibbs had his best game as a pro, putting up 23 points including 9 receptions. This is not likely going to be a weekly occurrence once David Montgomery returns, but Gibbs has shown enough to perhaps carve out a bigger role even once the veteran returns. Breece Hall should be fresh and ready to roll coming off the bye, and the Sharks WRs continue to perform on a consistent basis. Like the Karps, the Sharks are just hoping to avoid the injury bug as they look to return to the playoffs for the first time in several years.
#3 – Launay McFavres 5-2 (+1)
The McFavres came out of a mini-slump with a banger and followed it up with another, putting up the second highest point total this week. Tyreek Hill is a cheat code, and Saquon Barkley is back to full health and dominating the league. Dallas Goedert had his best game of the year, and if he is going to be this involved in the offense the rest of the league is in trouble.
#4 – Hibiscus Battle Hogz 4-3 (-1)
The Hogz lost a tough one to the Commissioner, who continues to draw the suspicion of the league by rigging the schedule to his favour. With Montgomery injured and Pollard on a bye, it was a major struggle for the Hogz at the RB position this week, but this team should be OK once those two are back in the lineup, with the dynamic Hurts/Brown duo, and rookie WR Rashee Rice continuing to flash, with GM Corey hoping he continues to develop into one of Mahomes favourite targets.
#5 – Crevasse Cheeks 4-3 (+1)
The Cheeks almost pulled out the miracle comeback this week, falling just short to the Valley Lords 98-102, thanks to a surprise dud from Bijan Robinson who is rumoured to have been taking tequila shots (and samurai bombs) with G on Saturday night. Once he sleeps it off, he should be fine, and the Cheeks look like they have some horses in Nacua, Addison and Andrews. Unfortunately, it’s back to the waiver wire/trade market for GM Conde, who is once again looking for a RB2 with Jerome Ford set to miss some time.
#6 – Delamere Dawg Pound 3-4 (-1)
Another loss for the dawg pound, and while they would have beaten a few other teams this week, this was far from an “encouraging loss” where the squad fell just short to a juggernaut. In a plus matchup, the rrrrraiders looked awful, with Adams and Jacobs combining for only 13 points. The pound still lead the league in points, but the gap is starting to narrow, and if this team doesn’t get its act together soon it could be on the outside looking in come playoff time.
#7 – Thresher Tornados 3-4 (-)
Well the boost from the scathing baffl.ca rebuke only lasted a week, with this team reverting to their usual ass-sucking selves. Send Etienne Jr to a good home and blow the rest of this team up, they are trash.
#8 – Aconitum Wolves 4-3 (+2)
Is it time to start taking the wolves seriously? In the famous words of Daniel Alfredsson: “Probably not”. Yes, they’ve won 4 in a row, but they probably cheated to do it, and as they continue to win armchair journalists are hard at work trying to uncover their malfeasance, which will make it harder to get away with. We wouldn’t be surprised at all if this team lost another 3 in a row to slide back to 4-7.
#9 – NT Slightly Miffed Birds 3-4 (-1)
Jonathon Taylor had by far his best game since coming back, while the rest of the squad played with the fury of a loss prevention officer politely asking someone to stop stealing. These guys better hope Achane comes back immediately after his IR stint, because apart from the rookie sensation, and Taylor, nobody on this team really gets the juices flowing.
#10 – Pepsiland Pontooners 2-5 (-1)
The Pontooners had a respectable showing this week but ran into the powerhouse Sharks. Unfortunately for GM Pepsi, the team is digging themselves quite a hole being 2-5 at the halfway mark. This team is going to need a hogz-like performance in the second half if they even want to sniff at the playoffs, or perhaps more importantly avoid the chomps bowl.
#11 – Minoterie BIG GUYs 3-4 (-3)
The BIG GUYs won a snooze-fest this week, barely eclipsing the 70 point mark, mostly on the back of the bills duo of Cook/Diggs in a losing effort vs the patriots. We expect more of the same from this team going forward, and more often than not that will mean losses for the BIG GUYs, who have already been brushing up on fish care in anticipation of another chomps bracket.
#12 – Moustache Mystics 2-5 (-2)
On the other side of the snoozefest this week were the 2-5 Mystics, who look to be destined for the chomps bracket. The team did have some bye week blues with Chase, Hubbard and Hopkins out, but if you’re going to hang your hat on a bad week in the fact that you didn’t have Chubba Hubbard playing, you probably just have a shit team.
#13 – Valley Lords 2-5 (-)
The Valley Lords got their second win of the season, and boy did they let the league know about it. Pat Mahomes went off, Taysom Hill had one of his big games he enjoys every now and then, and he successfully picked up a waiver wire RB who did some things. If any one of those things doesn’t hold true in a given week, mark these bums down for an L. No chance they get out of the chomps bowl.
#14 – Voldemorts 2-5 (-)
We said they needed to win to escape last place, and win they did, but unfortunately the other basement dwellers got on the board as well so the volds stay in last place for the time being. The team who shall not be named put up 87 points, which at first blush seems meh, but when you consider Deshaun Watson had negative points, it’s actually pretty impressive. Kamara looks to be in vintage form since coming back, and the insane number of targets he gets provides an extremely safe floor. We expect this will be the last week the team stays at #14.
BAFFL 