Week 3 is in the books and the league is in perfect symmetry: two teams at 3-0, five teams at 2-1, five teams at 1-2, two teams at 0-3. This week saw bounceback performances, fantasy MVPs coming crashing back down to earth, new stars emerging, and the misery continuing for some fantasy managers.
#1 – Launay McFavres 3-0 (-)
The defending champs continue to put the league on notice putting up a league high 159 points, easily tossing aside one of the top teams in the league with brutal efficiency. As if the team wasn’t already strong enough with the two top players on the season (yes, Hill and Mostert have scored more than any QBs), FA acquisition Tank Dell exploded for 23 fantasy points in a breakout performance. Unfortunately, the McFavres lost Mike Williams for the season, but with GM Snider’s track record we fully expect him to find someone to plug in seamlessly while he waits for Barkley to come back. This team might run the table and give BAFFL its first ever perfect season.
#2 – Thresher Tornados 2-1 (-)
Tough break for the Tornados running into the champs this week, putting up 132 points in a losing effort. GM Brent’s squad would have beaten all but two other teams this week, but the solid performance and 2-1 record leaves fans with optimism for the rest of the season. The schedule only gets easier from here, and the team saw encouraging performances from everyone not named Dak Prescott. The nades lost RB Gus Edwards to concussion, but James Conner continues to prove baffl.ca wrong and can easily slide into the lineup.
#3 – Delamere Dawg Pound 2-1 (+2)
The Delamere Raiders had a monster week, nearly eclipsing the McFavres for the top points in the week with 158.7. Luckily for GM Boyle, he wasn’t playing the McFavres and instead got to more than double up the commish in a performance that was reminiscent of the Dolphins Broncos game on Sunday. Herbert is the QB1 on the season, Cooper is a boss, and Kenny W is going to be giving GM Pearson nightmares all season on what could have been. The one surprising negative for this team has been the performance of last year’s RB1 Josh Jacobs, who has yet to top 10 points this year and has not found the end zone. If Jacobs can return to form this team could give the McFavres a run for their money.
#4 – Creek Crossing ZenSharks 3-0 (+3)
The three top players on the year so far are: Raheem Mostert, Tyreek Hill and Keenan Allen. The Sharks star WR did it all on Sunday, catching 18 (!) passes for 215 yards and adding a 50 yard TD pass to boot. The Sharks WR corps is simply elite, and overcame another dud from his RB duo to prove to his opponent GM Tyler that yes – maybe WRs do matter and maybe they are not a dime a dozen. DK Metcalf and the Sun God also had great performances, and in the wasteland that is the Tight End position Hockenson has proven to be a beacon of consistency with the upside to find the end zone each week. Gibbs had a solid performance in a game where no one other than Sam LaPorta found the end zone, but Breece Hall will likely remain irrelevant as long as Zach Wilson inexplicably keeps his starting job.
#5 – Aquarium Ave Magikarps 2-1 (+1)
The Karps had a get right game this week beating up on the Minoterie lil’ guys, but the team’s performance left a few question marks and they would have lost to quite a few other teams this week. McCaffrey was his usual self and Kirk Cousins is somehow the QB2 on the season, and the squad was buoyed by a 2TD performance from McKinnon, which is likely an outlier. This helped overcome tough performances by Tyler Lockett and Josh Reynolds, and GM Dufresne has to be getting concerned about another dud for TE Darren Waller, who the team invested high draft capital into this offseason. The Karps have a chance to prove the haters wrong this week with a matchup against the undefeated ZenSharks, a win and they are right back in the conversation of the BAFFL elite.
#6 – NV/EB Angry Birdz 2-1 (+2)
After his spectacular draft announcement of relocating the team, this motherfucker continues to leave his name on Yahoo as the EB Angry Birdz, rubbing salt in the wound of bitter EB fans who were extremely disappointed to see the team pack up and leave with barely any notice. The team had a solid performance with a 98-81 win, but perhaps more notable than what happened on the field was what happened on the bench, with RB Devon Achane exploding for what will likely be the best fantasy performance of any player this season. Unfortunately for GMGrove, this doesn’t help his team, but it’s a great sign that Achane will be involved in the offense even with Raheem Must Start continuing to dominate.
#7 – CrevAss Cheeks 2-1 (-4)
Much like the Browns in week 2, the Band Aids Cheeks looked lost without RB Nick Chubb, putting up a pathetic 65 point performance to lose to the lowly team who shall not be named. Matt Breida was the only player to find the end zone for the Cheeks this week, and he did so alongside a whopping 17 rushing yards. The RB2 hole on this team is glaring, and with rookie sensations Bijan Robinson and Puka Nacua coming back down to earth, this team could be in trouble. Can Bijan continue to produce if teams just stack the box and dare Desmond Ritter to throw it? What will Nacua’s role look like when Kupp returns? This team has more questions than answers at this point, and could find that rebuilds involve some growing pains and may take time.
#8 – Minoterie Lil Guys / Chimp chimp chimp 1-2 (-4)
The BIG GUYs failed to crack the 70 point barrier this week in a performance that puts them in the company of the league’s basement dwellers. First round pick Dameon Pierce finally found the end zone, but still only managed 13 points in what might be a ceiling performance. Keeper Garrett Wilson could not overcome brutal QB play, and the rest of his team had a dreadful week. This team better hope star QB Anthony Richardson doesn’t miss too much time, or they may dig themselves a hole that is too big to get out of.
#9 – Pepsiland Pontooners 1-2 (+1)
The tooners had an OK performance this week to improve to 1-1, on the back of the KC duo who both found the end zone in a romp, and leading NFL MVP candidate on the year Tua Tagovailoa. This helped overcome a brutal performance by his group of wide receivers, which the kids these days would describe as “Mid”. Derrick Henry had a brutal performance, but the Cleveland D is going to do that to a lot of players this year. However, with just 160 yards through 3 games, I think it’s safe to say that this is likely the end of Derrick Henry as a BAFFL keeper, but that’s not to say he can’t help this team fight its way back into their usual playoff spot.
#10 – Moustache Mystics 1-2 (+1)
Speaking of Mid – this team embodies the term in a way like no other. Ja’Marr chase finally had a breakout performance, and rookie TE Sam LaPorta had a monster game, and all that lead to…. 80 points. Enough to beat the basement dwellers of the league, but not enough to seriously contend with the league powerhouses. This RB group looks pretty rough without Aaron Jones, and could be the anchor on this squad all year long.
#11 – Hibiscus Battle Hogz 1-2 (-2)
Another disaster of a week for the Hogz this week putting up 69 points in a winnable matchup against the tooners, and whoever runs the team’s socials is out there bragging on twitter that his team’s point total matches a sex position? I guess you need to keep the locker room light, but this team needs to focus a little more on putting up points and a little less on cracking jokes that 12 year old gamers find hilarious. Hurts and Brown look like they’re gonna be just fine, and Tony Pollard should have a great season, but this team has no answers at the RB2 and Flex Position, and Calvin Ridley has come back down to earth after a monster week 1. The Hogz always find a way to scratch and claw their way through, but at some point the fans have to be concerned that maybe this is the year they dig themselves a hole they can’t climb out of.
#12 – Voldemorts 1-2 (+1)
The Volds are in the win column with a 75 point performance that was just 0.1 off the Yahoo projection. The team slipped past the booty cheeks on the back of 15 points from Mattison and 12 points from the vaunted Browns D. This team still sucks, but with Kamara coming back this week it might suck less than the other 2 and keep GM Adib from having to take care of the goldfish for another year.
#13 – Lords of the Valley 0-3 (-1)
The week started off with such promise: Cam Akers was dealt clearing the way for a new superstar rams running back. Deebo Samuel put up 22 points on Thursday night. Unfortunately for the Valley Lords, it was all downhill from there and this matchup was wrapped up by about 1:45PM on Sunday as the Sharks put a beat down on this winless team, who narrowly eclipsed 70 points for the first time this season. Samuel and Mahomes accounted for nearly 50 of the team’s 73 points, and the rest of the team put up an absolutely embarrassing performance, led by Dalton Schitz and Joshua Smelley. This team is real bad, and needs more than one impact player to have any chance of escaping the chomps bowl.
#14 – Aconitum Wolves 0-3 (-)
Starting one terrible Steelers RB wasn’t enough for this masochist, as GM Begin said fuck it, let’s start em’ both! Together they combined for a whopping 13 points, which sadly was his best option at the position. Kyle Pitts is trash, this team is trash, and it actually makes me sad to keep writing about how bad they are. GM Begin should do Josh Allen a favour and release him into the wild so he can actually make a difference for someone else’s team instead of being the only thing keeping this team from falling under the 60 point mark.
BAFFL 